


Problem, Officer?

by Multifandom_Freak_16



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Costumes, Established Relationship, Halloween, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, basically just festive johnlock porn, but john can fix that, roleplay sorta kinda, sherlock is a stubborn prat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-27
Updated: 2014-09-27
Packaged: 2018-02-18 23:32:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2366015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multifandom_Freak_16/pseuds/Multifandom_Freak_16
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Halloween in London once again, and this year Molly Hooper is throwing a costume party. Naturally, Sherlock and John are among the first people she invites. It takes much prodding, a bribe or two, and maybe a threat on John's part to convince Sherlock to go with him, but in the end Sherlock relents and agrees. That just leaves the matter of costumes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Problem, Officer?

"No." Sherlock opened his laptop and started typing, long fingers flying across the keyboard without pause and without mistake.

"Sherlock, come on. Please," John said from near the door, exasperated.

"No. I agreed to go with you but I refuse to wear some silly costume. It's childish, John," John's infuriating boyfriend rumbled without looking at him.

"It's just for fun, love, and you'll only be wearing it for a few hours," he entreated.

"No."

"Sherlock, get up and get your coat on, you are coming with me to buy a costume and you are wearing it to Molly's party," John told him sternly. "Or you will wear whatever I choose for you."

"Or," Sherlock countered, "I will continue to sit here and work, and I will wear my usual attire to the party. I'll leave you to deduce which of those options I've chosen."

John sighed. _Fine._ He shoved his arms into his coat and his feet into his shoes, then crossed the room. He stopped in front of Sherlock, not saying anything for a moment. The detective still was focused solely on whatever he was typing.

"At least look up from that long enough to give me a kiss," he said. This time Sherlock obeyed. He sat the laptop to the side and looked up at John pointedly. John resisted the urge to roll his eyes, instead leaning down to press a chaste kiss on Sherlock's lips, which he returned. Plush flesh met slightly chapped flesh, clung, separated, then brushed again before John drew back and moved to straighten up.

He was stopped by Sherlock's hands on the back of his neck, pulling him back for another kiss. John pulled his mouth away again.

"Sherlock, my cab will be here any second, I have to go before the shops all close," he admonished, peeling the large hands off of his neck and standing up straight. Sherlock just gave a _hmph_.

"Fine," he huffed. He looked up at John with a slight pout. "Just one more then? Please." John held in a sigh. For a moment he considered walking away, but he never could say no to him. He leaned down again to give Sherlock's lips just a peck.

As soon as their lips connected, Sherlock's arms wrapped tightly around John and pulled him down into his lap in one swift motion.

"Sherlock-" John managed to pull his mouth away, but Sherlock chased it with his own, recapturing it before John could protest further. He licked his way past John's lips and teeth to brush his tongue along John's. That's when John realized what Sherlock was trying to do. He fought his arms out of Sherlock's grip to put his hands on his broad shoulders and put some distance between them.

"Sherlock, let go of me," he commanded, slightly irritated. Sherlock held his stare and tightened his arms.

"No."

"Sherlock, let go or I _will_ hurt you," John warned. They glared at each other for another handful of seconds before Sherlock sighed his relent. He unraveled his arms. John immediately stood and stepped out of his reach, then zipped his coat up. Sherlock took his laptop up again, typing furiously, his expression somewhere between stony and petulant. John couldn't help but smile. He pressed a kiss to Sherlock's forehead.

"I won't be gone long," he promised.

Sherlock just gave another _hmph_ in reply.

"I love you, too." And with that, John took his leave.

* * *

A little over three hours had passed before the cab pulled up outside of 221 Baker Street. John paid the cabbie and got out with his bag. He was a little aggravated at the limited selection of costumes he'd had to choose from that he liked _and_ that fit him, but overall he was pleased with his purchases.

He had ended up buying their costumes, and something extra for Sherlock, after an idea aimed to change his mind about costumes had bloomed in John's head whilst browsing at the shop. He just hoped his idea would work.

John took the stairs two at a time, shutting the door behind him as soon as he made it up to the flat he shared with Sherlock. He dropped the bag to shrug off his coat and kick out of his shoes, then hung his coat before glancing around for Sherlock.

The detective was stretched out on the sofa, lying in the usual pose he took up when he was thinking. He had changed out of his suit and now wore a pair of his pajama bottoms, one of John's old t-shirts, and his own blue dressing gown. The tattered old clothing did nothing to diminish the man's beauty.

John bent down and kissed his furrowed brow. The touch made Sherlock's expression clear and his eyes move to John. _He must've been in his mind palace._

"I got you something," John told him. Sherlock shot him a withering look. "Don't. I really think you'll like it." Sherlock twisted awkwardly to look skeptically at the bag by the door. John had had the cashiers at both shops put everything in the one bag, so as to maybe throw Sherlock off and surprise him.

"I'm still not wearing a costume," Sherlock sneered, then rolled on his side and curled into a ball with his back to John. _Did I really just pull one over on Sherlock Holmes?_

"Fine," John replied. He picked the bag up and took it to their bedroom, pulling the door shut behind him. He sifted through the bag and quickly pulled out what he was looking for then dropped the bag on the floor beside the wardrobe.

 _This had bloody well better work._ John undressed and changed his clothes fairly quickly. His hand was on the doorknob minutes later. He exhaled a long breath before turning it then thudding down the hallway and into the living room at a leisurely pace. He stopped a few feet away from where Sherlock still lay curled up on the couch. Several seconds ticked by in silence.

"John, hand me my phone," Sherlock said without turning around. He was answered with more silence. Only after there was no sound from John except for his breathing did he move. He glanced over his shoulder, registered John's presence, turned his head back to the sofa for a moment before whipping it around again to actually look at John, as though doing a double take.

John stood there in an authoritative pose, watching Sherlock sit up and turn around to look him up and down. His pale eyes took in the sexy (and tight) police officer costume John had purchased from a sex shop not far from Baker Street (the boots, though, had been a friend's Christmas present to John from ages ago, never worn until now, and would never be worn again.)

Eventually, Sherlock's gaze roamed back up to John's eyes. "What's this for?" he inquired, his expression indifferent.

"You've been a bad man, Holmes," John answered, taking up a commanding tone.

"Oh?" Sherlock cocked an elegant eyebrow. "Is that so?" John nodded.

"By refusing to wear a costume, you've refused an officer of the law," he told him. Sherlock stood and sauntered the distance between them, stopping close enough to John that John could feel the heat coming off his body.

"Problem, _officer?"_ Sherlock emphasized the second word with a graceful raise of his eyebrows.

"For you, maybe. I might have to arrest you for that," John responded.

"Mmmh. Under what charges?" Sherlock asked. He languidly swaggered around John. John could feel his eyes roving over his body again.

"Whatever charges I choose," John stated, moving to turn around to face Sherlock. Then there were hands groping his arse firmly, and before Sherlock could react he had him pinned up against the nearest wall with his hands behind his back.

"Sexual assault of an officer will do nicely," John growled in his ear as he took the handcuffs out of the pouch on his belt and shackled Sherlock's slim wrists together, maybe a little too snuggly. He then pulled the taller man from the wall by his grip on his forearms and started leading him down the hallway toward their bedroom.

"It was an honest mistake, though, officer," Sherlock insisted, letting John lead him.

 _He's actually playing along._ This surprised John, but he kept going.

"Save it." He pushed Sherlock down onto their bed. Sherlock landed on his front, but rolled over onto his back to look up at John with an innocent expression.

"This is all a misunderstanding," he said

"Mmm, I don't think it is."

"Surely there's some way to have the charge dropped, some deal that can be made? I'll do anything, officer."

"Hmm. Anything?" John echoed, raising his eyebrows. Sherlock nodded.

" _Anything,"_ he purred. His voice had lowered four octaves in as many seconds. His face was still set in the same innocent expression but his eyes were smirking. John shut the door then kicked off his boots. He fisted his hand in the front of Sherlock's shirt and pulled him up into a sitting position by that grip, then leaned down so his mouth was right beside his ear.

"Here's your deal then: I'll let you off with a warning- _after_ you take my cock like the dirty, grabby whore you are, without question and without complaint. You're going to lay there while I stick every last inch of this big, hard cock into your tight arse and fuck you, and then after I'm finished I'll let you go on your way," John growled low before biting down on Sherlock's earlobe and sucking at the skin between his teeth. He drew back after a few seconds to look Sherlock in the face. "Do we have an agreement?"

Sherlock closed his slightly parted lips and just nodded. John straightened up, pulling Sherlock after him and onto his feet. He mouthed at the ivory skin of his neck while reaching around to unlock the handcuffs then setting them on the nightstand. Sherlock inhaled a sharp hiss when John sank his teeth into his throat. John pushed the dressing gown off of him and heard it make a soft sound upon settling on the floor. Sherlock's hands grabbed onto John's arse to pull him closer, but John growled and bit down harder- not hard enough to hurt him, though.

"Ah-ah. That's what got you into this, remember?" he chided against Sherlock's skin, his tongue coming out to taste the area where his pulse beat rapidly. The hands on John's arse vanished.

John slid his hands under the hem of the t-shirt and they creeped up Sherlock's torso, pulling the shirt with it. Sherlock let out a small gasp when John's thumbs found his nipples under the shirt, just before John leaned back enough to pull the shirt off. He gave a louder gasp when John's mouth closed around one of the hard nubs of flesh and sucked while his hands moved to the waistband of his pajama bottoms, which joined the rest of the clothing on the floor. He wasn't wearing pants underneath.

John gave his attention to the other nipple before pulling away and roughly pushing Sherlock back onto the bed. He drank in the sight of the gorgeous, nude body laid out in front of him while he undressed himself, biting back a groan when his gaze came to the flushed erection between Sherlock's legs. He undressed faster.

Sherlock watched him strip. There were red marks on his thighs that looked like he'd squeezed them to keep from squeezing John's arse again. Blood suddenly seemed to rush even faster to John's half-hard cock, which had just been freed as the last bit of what little clothing he wore dropped to the ground. Sherlock's eyes roamed and took in John's naked form before John got onto the bed and crawled on top of him.

Their mouths met with the slide of tongues and the clack of teeth in a hungry kiss. John swallowed Sherlock's groan when his thumbs went back to his nipples, rubbing circles around them, but couldn't swallow his own when Sherlock rolled his hips against him and he felt his rigid cock rub against his arse. His own cock leapt to full attention.

Neither of them broke the kiss until they had to separate for air, their breathing heavy and ragged. John shifted off of Sherlock.

"Move," he told him, directing him with his hands just for a moment before Sherlock knew how he wanted him and obeyed. He looked up at John with eyes blown apart by lust once he was settled and John was straddling his hips again. John admired how lovely his dark hair looked splayed out on the white pillows and ran a gentle hand through those curls before ducking down to recapture his swollen, red mouth.

This kiss was less hungry and more heated, without teeth but with possibly more tongue. Without moving his mouth off of Sherlock's, John reached over and plucked the handcuffs off of the nightstand, and also fished the lube out of the drawer. He sat the lube behind him by his foot, then in one quick move had Sherlock's hands handcuffed to the headboard. His tongue slid against Sherlock's for a minute more before he pulled his mouth away to suck a lovebite on the side of Sherlock's neck.

He kept moving down, pushing Sherlock's thighs apart and settling between them. John nipped at the groove at the base of his throat, pulling a shuddering breathy sound from him. He licked all along Sherlock's collarbone, then latched onto his nipple. He simultaneously bit down (carefully) on the hard flesh, sucked on it, and lapped at it with the tip of his tongue, while lightly pinching the other nipple between his thumb and index finger. Sherlock made a soft keening sound, his hips jerked.

John switched sides and repeated the process after a moment, resulting in another sound floating from Sherlock's mouth that should've made him snicker but instead- somehow- turned him on even more. After a time he moved on, peppering wet kisses down Sherlock's stomach and abdomen. Both of them were breathing raggedly by the time John's hand wrapped around the base of Sherlock's cock.

He dragged his tongue up the grooved underside of the shaft, slowly, lapping up the precome that glistened at the tip. Sherlock made another impossibly arousing noise above him. John glanced up and saw Sherlock watching him with his mouth open in a silent sound of pleasure. He met his gaze and held it while parting his lips and lowering them down around the first couple inches of his cock. Sherlock groaned and watched as John drew back, suckled on the tip for a long moment, then pulled his mouth off with a wet popping sound.

John licked around the tip for a moment while he found the bottle of lubricant and slicked three fingers. He nudged Sherlock's thighs farther apart then slid a finger between his arsecheeks to rub and tease the tight ring of muscle within. He waited until Sherlock felt ready before he pushed his finger slowly, carefully into his body at the same time as he swallowed down a few inches of his cock.

Sherlock keened quietly. John hollowed his cheeks to give hopefully just the right amount of suction as he pulled back, then slid back down. He glanced up at Sherlock while he repeated the movements, raising his eyebrows in an unspoken question. Sherlock nodded, and John added a second finger in beside the first, taking a little more of Sherlock's hard length in his mouth while he slid it in. He gave Sherlock a moment to adjust before gingerly scissoring his fingers inside of him, stretching him a little more. Sherlock inhaled sharply.

Soon, John had three fingers buried inside of Sherlock and had as much of his cock in his mouth as he was able to take. His own neglected cock was screaming for attention, though he ignored it as best as he could.

"Please," Sherlock's voice was rich and needy when he finally spoke. "I'm ready, _please_ fuck me." John pulled his mouth off of him and pulled his fingers out of him, more than happy to oblige. He uncapped the lube and poured a generous amount into his hand before setting the bottle aside, then slicked himself, moaning at how good the attention to his raging erection felt as cool liquid slid up and down the length.

With one hand on the bed to steady himself, John used his other to guide himself between Sherlock's arsecheeks until the tip rested inside Sherlock's stretched hole. He leaned up to press a kiss to Sherlock's lips, putting his weight on his arms on either side of Sherlock's shoulders, and then held his turquoise gaze while he pushed in slowly but a little impatiently, groaning low when he was fully sheathed. He brushed kisses to Sherlock's damp forehead while he gave him time to adjust.

Sherlock nodded several seconds later. John planted a kiss at the part in his hair then started to move. He drew back as far as he could before pushing back into tight heat. Sherlock lifted his hips up to meet his thrust and take him deeper with a shaky sigh. John moved his hips slowly at first, but they quickly gathered speed and settled into a rhythm.

"Harder," Sherlock breathed. John shifted position so that he was holding Sherlock's hips higher off of the bed by a grip on his arse, then started to piston into Sherlock with more force.

John knew that neither of them were going to last very long. He let his forehead drop against the side of Sherlock's neck as he sped up some, hands squeezing the firm flesh in their grip. The only sounds in the room were their panting, and the sound of flesh moving against flesh. Sherlock's legs wrapped around him, pulling him in even closer. John heard the rattling sound that announced that Sherlock was trying to pull out of the handcuffs, then a whimper as he gave up a minute later.

"Touch me," he implored in a breathy rumble. "For Christ's sake, John,  _please_ touch me, fuck." John paused to sit up and quickly change position again. He unwrapped one of Sherlock's legs from around his waist and pulled it up until the back of his knee rested on John's shoulder, then planted the foot on the same side of his body firmly on the mattress so that he was kneeling. He kept the grip on Sherlock's arse with one hand and wrapped his other around Sherlock's cock. He slicked the precome at the tip down the shaft as he started stroking, then starting thrusting hard.

" _Oh,_ _God,"_ Sherlock groaned out, rolling his hips and throwing his head back. " _God,_ oh fuck, _yes,_ fuck me  _just like that."_ John slammed into Sherlock even deeper than before while Sherlock rolled his hips again, giving another groan and arching his back. They watched each other through lowered lashes as John fucked into Sherlock and Sherlock fucked himself onto John.

John felt his orgasm pooling at the base of his spine and growing, but he tried to push it away. He wanted to see Sherlock come first- he always did. He loved to watch him lose control like he was starting to now, rolling his hips with John's thrusts and making small, inarticulate noises of pleasure through his panting each time John's cock touched his prostate.

But it was John who came first. Orgasm crashed over him like a tsunami wave, engulfing him, devouring him. His hips stuttered through several more thrusts, then jerked twice, and he was coming deep, deep inside of Sherlock with a shout. His movements slowed to a stop as wave after wave overtook him, made all the more intense by Sherlock still fucking himself onto John and and into John's hand, letting out keens and groans. His body hunched over Sherlock's and he pressed his forehead against Sherlock's jaw. The room spinned just a bit.

John didn't know how much time passed before he had ridden out his orgasm and the room came to a halt, but he did know that Sherlock was still going. He pushed aside his sudden exhaustion and excructiating need to hold Sherlock's body close to his and fall asleep, focusing on moving his hand on Sherlock's cock in long, fast strokes. He leaned back enough to watch the squirming man underneath him.

It didn't take much. Several strokes, and Sherlock's back was arching, his eyes clenched shut, and he came calling John's name. John kept going until he had wrung out every drop of come from Sherlock's cock. The warm liquid covered John's hand and Sherlock's stomach and abdomen. Once the flow ceased, John pulled out and stretched to grab his t-shirt off of the floor. He meant to wipe them both off, but stopped to admire the view of Sherlock handcuffed, debauched, and thoroughly shagged.

John leaned forward to kiss Sherlock's lips. "You're so gorgeous like this, love," he told him, brushing his damp hair back off of his forehead before it dried stuck to the skin.

"You're gorgeous all of the time," he rumbled, looking at John through heavy eyelids and giving him the faintest of smiles. John heard the exhaustion in his voice. He kissed the scar near the corner of his bottom lip, then cleaned the both of them off. He found the key to the handcuffs and freed Sherlock, who immediately pulled John against him and held him there tightly. John smiled. He also loved to see Sherlock like this.

He moved to get out of bed after a few moments of letting Sherlock hold him, but Sherlock made a sound of protest and held tighter.

"Sherlock, let me up. I'm just pissing and turning the lights off," he told him patiently. Sherlock relented with a sleepy huff. John disentangled himself from Sherlock's grasp and took care of his suddenly full bladder and the lights throughout the flat quickly, then returned to the bedroom in minutes. Sherlock hadn't moved. John flicked off the lamp on the nightstand before getting under the covers.

Now Sherlock moved. He squirmed his way under the covers and wrapped his arms around John again, holding him close. His legs tangled with John's and their bodies pressed against each other at almost every point possible. He hummed his contentment.

But John still had a point to prove.

"Still think costumes are silly and childish?" he asked Sherlock, then yawned. Sherlock sighed.

"Don't ruin it," he grumbled, leaning his forehead against John's. John smiled and kissed his bottom lip. He knew he'd won.

"So you'll wear a costume to the party, then?" He draped one arm over Sherlock's waist and tucked the other one comfortably under his pillow, a part of him holding his breath waiting for Sherlock to answer.

".....Yes."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my un-Brit-picked kinky gay porn! Thank you for your comments and your kudos! Thank you thank you thank you! You lovely lil' turtledoves make my heart smile, I hope you enjoyed it. <3
> 
> I didn't think about it while I was writing this (I was a tad bit drunk off my ass, oops), and I'm not too sure now that I do think about it, SO: what are John's and Sherlock's costumes for the party? If you have an idea or two or twelve, leave a comment, please! I appreciate any and all ideas~ I'm likely gonna commission a piece of John in his sex shop police costume (because why the hell not?), and I really wanna commission a piece of him and Sherlock going to the party in their costumes (probably with Sherlock being pouty and complaining about feeling silly), so whichever idea I like best will be what they're wearing. c:
> 
> Again, I thank you, beautiful people! :D


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